This post is written by a recent Rubicon Project graduate, Janelle. Janelle shares her story about her eating habits, self loathing and how it all turned around when she crossed the Rubicon. Thank you so much Janelle, I’m so delighted and proud and honoured to be a part of your journey.
I hated my body! And I used food to punish it. I would control what food went into my mouth and weigh myself every week. If I was heavier than what I wanted to be I wouldn’t eat, or really limit my food intake.
My friend noticed how much I hated my body even though to everyone I had “the killer curvy figure, and most woman wanted that now”, but when you grow up with girls only wanting to be skinny and you had to mold into this body image it’s quite hard to change your mind set.
Anyway – I signed up! And I was a total sceptic! My mindset was “There was nothing wrong with what I’m doing, I need to be like this because I will get bigger again! I have to control food as it’s the only thing I can control in my life”.
Do you know what Kate made me do? I had to throw out my scales! And I did it!
And would you believe it – I haven’t weighed myself since! Actually, that’s not true – I did once when I went to a Doctors appointment, and I really surprised myself because I didn’t care what I weighed! I didn’t control my food when I got home! I didn’t let it affect me because my weight doesn’t define me as a person!
I took photos of the parts of my body I did like, and I slowly fell in love with myself again.
I don’t use food to punish myself anymore!
I do have an amazing killer curvy figure!
I am beautiful!
And I am worth it!
Thanks Kate for the amazing journey and the never ending support.
~ Janelle O’Brien, River Goddess